If you’ve ever facilitated a peer support group (or any vulnerable group for that matter), you know how quickly a conversation can drift off course.

One person shares something vulnerable, someone else jumps in with advice, another person shuts down, and suddenly the room feels tense in a way no one intended.

Most of the time, nothing dramatic happened.
People were just operating from different assumptions and unspoken rules.

That’s why accountable spaces matter

Clear, shared agreements make it easier for people to show up for one another without guessing, overreaching, or taking the group in a direction that leaves others behind.

And as a facilitator, they give you steadier ground to stand on when things start to wobble.

This blog will show you how to build those agreements in a way that feels natural, collaborative, and grounded in peer support values, so your sessions stay safe, steady, and connected instead of spiraling.

To make this even easier to use in real sessions, I put together a free checklist and group agreement builder you can download here.

Let’s jump in.

Why Accountable Spaces Matter

In peer support, you’re working with people who carry different histories, communication styles, and thresholds for emotional safety.

When those differences stay unspoken, group members fall back on habits like:talking over each other, jumping into advice, or avoiding the deeper things they came to share.

None of this is intentional, it’s just human.

But research on psychological safety shows that groups with clear norms communicate more openly, build trust faster, and recover from conflict much more easily.

When people understand how a group wants to treat one another, they feel safer participating

Accountable spaces don’t eliminate messiness.

They simply give you something to return to when things start to drift. And for many participants, it’s the first time they’ve been in a room where expectations are spoken instead of assumed.

How to Build Group Agreements

Think of group agreements as the foundation your sessions stand on.
They’re co-created, easy to understand, and flexible enough to support real human interactions.

Here’s how to build them with your group.

1. Start With the Values That Keep People Safe

Before introducing agreements, ask yourself:

• What helps people feel safe enough to share?
• What prevents the room from becoming overwhelming or chaotic?
• What supports participants in listening, not fixing?
• What helps quieter members feel included?

Tip from a peer support worker: Every person, group, and day is different. This may not look EXACTLY the same every time.

Repeating this quick reflection before each new group or session gives you a reliable starting point. It also helps you adjust and improve from week to week, especially with recurring participants.

Often, the core values look like:

• Respect
• Curiosity
• Consent
• Confidentiality
• Balance of voices
• Honouring impact

Once you’re clear on the values, you can build agreements that reflect them.

2. Co-Create Agreements With Your Group

Your job here is to guide, not dictate.
People are more invested in agreements they helped shape.

Ask open questions like:

• “What helps you feel safe in a group like this?”
• “What makes conversations feel supportive for you?”
• “What agreements would help us show up for each other today?”

Capture their responses somewhere visible.

Common agreements that emerge:

• We let people finish their thoughts before responding.
• We ask before giving advice.
• We speak from our own experience, not someone else’s.
• We share airtime.
• We honour confidentiality.
• We stay curious, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Your guidance shapes the container, but the group’s voice fills it.

3. Make the Agreements Simple and Usable

If the agreements are too long or complicated, nobody will remember them.

Aim for agreements that are:

• short
• clear
• conversational
• easy to revisit during a tense moment

For example, instead of:

“Please refrain from interrupting unless absolutely necessary.”

Try:

“Let’s let each other finish a thought.”

This makes it easier for both you and the group to lean on the agreement in real time.

4. Use the Agreements When the Room Starts to Drift

Naming agreements is one thing, but using them is the whole point.

Moments where you’ll rely on them:

• Someone jumps into advice-giving
• One voice begins dominating
• A participant gets activated
• A conversation becomes a debate
• The energy in the room tightens

A soft reminder keeps things grounded:

• “Let’s return to our agreement about sharing airtime.”
• “Can we pause and check in before offering advice?”
• “I’m noticing a lot happening at once—let’s slow it down.

This brings the group back without shaming or silencing.

5. Model the Agreements Yourself

Your facilitation sets the tone.

When you:

• listen fully
• wait before responding
• ask for consent
• acknowledge impact
• repair when you slip

Participants follow your lead.

Modeling creates a culture.
Culture creates safety.
Safety allows depth.

This is where peer support thrives.

6. Keep Agreements Alive Through Check-Ins and Repair

Agreements aren’t carved in stone or a measurement of success.
They’re living commitments designed to create a safe, accountable space.

People will forget them. Someone will interrupt. A conversation will get “messy”.

That’s ok.

Accountability shows up when you return to the values:

• “I noticed I talked over you earlier—let me slow down.”
• “It feels like we drifted from our agreement. Can we pause?”
• “That moment seemed to land differently—want to check in?”

Repair builds trust faster than perfection ever could.

Integration: Bringing This Into Your Next Session

Start small.

Choose three or four agreements that feel grounded and accessible.
Co-create them with your group. Revisit them at the beginning of each session.

Over time, those agreements become the quiet structure that keeps your group steady when emotions rise or conversations pull in unexpected directions.

And if you want help building your own, the free Accountable Space Checklist + Group Agreement Builder gives you templates you can use before your next session.

Closing Reflection

Accountable spaces don’t eliminate discomfort. They just give it somewhere safe to land.

You don’t need a perfect plan to build this.
You just need one clear agreement and a willingness to return to it.

Try introducing one agreement in your next session. Notice what shifts, both in the group and in you.

If you want more tools for grounded, intentional facilitation, here are a few places to go next:

• Watch: Thinking of Going Into Peer Support? Watch This First
• Watch: 5 Self-Care Mistakes Even Mental Health Workers Make (and how to fix them)
• Read: How to Know What to Say (and When to Say Nothing)

Also, if you want to get better at tracking, start building or adding onto a routine you already have, check out the FREE 10 Minute Weekly Reset

To be the first to get more stories, tools, and life experiments like this, subscribe to the email list at thejeffturner.ca.

Until next time, I’m Jeff Turner and remember to take care of yourself, however that looks to you.