Ever since I released the 4 Lessons in 4 Years video, one question keeps popping up:

“How do you show up for others when you’re not at 100% yourself?”

It’s a good question. One I’ve been sitting with a lot lately.

Peer support doesn’t pause just because you’re tired. Over time, I’ve learned that showing up—even when you're not at 100%—is something you can practice.

So I put together a mix of my lived experience and wisdom that I’ve picked up along the way. Think of it as a guide for those days when you feel off, depleted, or just not like yourself, but still want to be there for others.

This blog has two parts.

Part 1 is about building a solid foundation ahead of time, so you’re not scrambling when things get hard.
Part 2 is for when you’re already low, but still want to show up. It’s a mix of tools I’ve picked up over the years.

I split it this way because preparation and real-time support are different muscles.

So grab a pen or open a fresh doc, and let’s begin!

Part 1: Build Self-Care Into the Foundation (Not Just the Recovery Plan)

Self-care isn’t just what you do when you crash. It’s how you keep from crashing in the first place. It’s the small, steady routines that help your nervous system stay regulated.

The goal isn’t a perfect routine. It’s learning what helps, what drains, and adjusting as you go.
If you want a deeper dive into common self-care mistakes (especially if you're in a helping role), check out this post: 5 Self-Care Mistakes Even Mental Health Workers Make.

Hopefully this gives you a starting point. Or maybe even a go-to plan for those days when you're not at your best but still want to be present.

1. Know Your Baseline

Before anything else, get clear on what your version of “okay” feels like.
Not someone else’s—yours. Emotionally. Physically. Socially.

What does regulation look and feel like for you?

2. Make Self-Care Boring

Ok, I admit...

That's a little bit of a click bait sub-headline. Of course you can have fun with self-care. In fact, for me, the more fun I have the more I do it.

But the point is self-care doesn't have to be flashy. Consistency is key.

• Drinking water before coffee
• Move your body, even when it’s inconvenient
• Say no before you’re resentful

You don’t always need a spa day. You need a rhythm.

3. Track the Early Warning Signs

Burnout rarely arrives all at once. It usually tiptoes in. And it can look many different ways to many different people.

Here's some simple examples:

• You stop returning texts
• You feel foggy in conversation (or general)
• You’re more irritable than usual

These are invitations, not failures. Try your best and practice getting better at catching them early.

Now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s talk about what to do when you’re already running low—but still want to show up.

Part 2: When You’re Depleted—But Still Want to Show Up

I put this together because even with lived experience, I still needed guidance. I’ve learned so much from others in this space and it felt right to pass some of it on.

Hopefully this gives you a starting point. Or maybe even a go-to plan for those days when you're not at your best but still want to be present.

Here are three reminders gathered from some of the industries leading professionals that have helped me.

1. Ali Abdaal on Sustaining Energy

In his video Why You’re Always Tired, Ali Abdaal breaks exhaustion into simple habits rather than chasing massive life hacks.

Why it matters:
Tiny habits can anchor you in the moment, even when your tank is low.

Try this:

• Keep a water bottle visible during sessions
• Sip a full glass before each one
• If you feel foggy mid-conversation, take a slow drink, pause, then respond

2. Brené Brown on Owning Vulnerability

In The Power of Vulnerability, Brené Brown champions “courage over comfort”—being real, even when you’re shaky.

Why it works:
Naming your truth lowers the pressure and invites real connection.

Try this:

• Begin with honesty: “I’m a bit off today, but I’m here with you.”
• Pause. Let it land.
• Continue from that shared, honest space

3. Jay Shetty & David Ko on Recharging the Inner Battery

In a conversation with David Ko (CEO of Calm), Jay Shetty explores the idea that rest isn’t indulgent, it’s essential.

Why it helps:
Even a micro-reset can calm your nervous system and create space for genuine presence.

Try this:

• Before a session, do a mental battery check: full, half, or near-empty?
• Pick one intentional reset—deep breath, stretch, or a 60-second step outside
• Reassess, then enter grounded

Final Thought

You don’t need to be perfect to be effective.
You don’t need to be healed to be helpful.
And you don’t need to be at 100% to make someone feel less alone.

You just have to show up with what you’ve got and make sure you’re saving some of that for yourself, too.

If you have a go-to strategy for showing up on tough days, I’d love to hear it. Shoot me a message or reach out on any of my channels. If this helped you, or you think it might help someone else, feel free to share it.

And if you want to learn more about Peer Support or explore mental wellness in general, be sure to check out the rest of my content on my website or channels by clicking HERE.

Until next time, I’m Jeff.
Take care of yourself—however that looks to you.