Recently, I shared a video about the 4 things I wish I knew before getting into peer support.

That reflection stirred up a lot and it reminded me of something I don’t talk about enough: how easy it is to forget your own self-care when you’re constantly supporting others.

When I first became a peer support worker, I thought I had a head start on self-care.

After all, I was talking about mental health all day. I was surrounded by people who got it. I had tools, language, and community. What could go wrong?

Turns out… plenty.

Working in mental health doesn’t mean you’re automatically thriving.
In fact, sometimes it makes it harder to tell when you’re not.

There’s this quiet pressure to “have it together.” Like because you’re the helper, you have to always be okay… even when you’re not.

So in the spirit of honesty and growth, here are 5 self-care mistakes I’ve made in this work—along with what I’ve learned, and how you might avoid the same pitfalls. 

Whether you're getting into peer support or just trying to take better care of yourself, I hope these lessons help you do both.

1. Only “Doing the Work” When You're at Work

If you spend your day supporting others (because it’s your job title or not), it can be easy to overlook yourself. 

You might assume that because you're surrounded by sharing mental wellness stories or having mental wellness conversations, you're automatically processing your own stuff too. 

But emotional self-awareness doesn't just happen through exposure, it needs intention.

Try scheduling 5–10 minutes a day just for you. Ask yourself: "What am I feeling right now? What do I need?" 

This doesn’t need to be a full journaling session. It can be as simple as pausing with your coffee or taking a quiet walk around the block.

The goal is to get in the habit of checking in with yourself the way you do with others.

2. Skipping the Basics (Sleep, Food, Water, Boundaries)

Working in mental health doesn’t make you immune to the basics. In fact, it can make them easier to forget.

You might find yourself encouraging someone to take breaks while answering emails at midnight. Or reminding someone to eat while running on caffeine and granola bars.

If that sounds familiar, it might be time to ease back into a routine. Getting back to basics can be grounding, especially when life feels like a blur.

Try starting small. You could build a simple rhythm that includes things like:

• Sleeping at least 7 hours (or whatever is "normal" to you) most nights
• Eating one solid meal without distractions
• Drinking a full glass of water when you wake up
• Taking a mid-day break to step outside or stretch

Start where you are, adjust as you go, and celebrate the moments where it feels just a little bit easier to breathe.

3. Believing You Can Push Through Forever

You might not realize you're burning out until things that once lit you up start to feel dull. Burnout doesn’t always look like collapse. Sometimes it feels like apathy, irritability, or just going through the motions.

• Rather than waiting for the crash, start treating rest as part of the work. 
• Block off a “nothing day” in your calendar each month. Rate your energy at the end of each day. 
• If you're noticing a consistent dip below a 6 out of 10, it's probably time to reassess your load. 

Recovery doesn't always mean a vacation. Sometimes, it's stepping away from stimulation and letting yourself just exist.

4. Being the Safe Space, But Not Having One

You hold space for others—but do you have anyone who holds space for you? If you’re the person everyone turns to, you might not always know where to turn yourself. That can leave you feeling isolated, even in community.

Start by identifying three types of support: Someone who understands your work, someone you can vent to without explaining everything, and someone who brings lightness to your life. 

Make time to check in with them regularly. 

And if that feels awkward, start simple: "Hey, would it be okay if I reached out after tough days?"

5. Thinking You Have to Model "Perfect" Recovery

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you have to have it all figured out to be effective. 

That if you’re struggling, you shouldn’t be supporting others. But perfection isn’t what makes you trustworthy. Authenticity is.

You can be in process and still be helpful. You can have bad days and still hold space for someone else. 

What matters is your ability to be honest, present, and human. 

If you've been holding yourself to unrealistic standards, try softening your self-talk. Instead of "I should have it together," try "I'm allowed to grow, too."

Conclusion:

So there you have it. I hope at least one of these ideas gave you something to think about.

Whether supporting others is your job, something you’ve naturally fallen into, or you're just trying to find a little more space for yourself.

I’d love to hear from you. What did I miss? 

What’s something you do that helps you reset, reconnect, or just feel more like yourself?
Contact me and let me know!

And if this spoke to you, there’s probably someone else in your life who could use it too. Feel free to pass it along.

Until next time, I’m Jeff—
and take care of yourself, however that looks to you.